I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
