he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I forget how to act sober
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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