I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
zippers are such a cool invention
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
