what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
