Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
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you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
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Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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