I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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