Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
