explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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