Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize