that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I need moral support for this bender
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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