As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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