Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
