After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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