There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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