two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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