I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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