wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
