Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
