My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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