I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
