I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
