I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
