After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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