I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
