and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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