she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
