It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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