you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
