he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
