So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
