Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
