I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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