You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
