So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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