That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
