Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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