just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.