K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?