i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
