If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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