Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
