Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
PANTIES FOUND
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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