Plan B is the new Plan A
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he fucked my hip out of place.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
