I can tuck mytits in my pants
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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