***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just had sex on a roof
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
