My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
