took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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