8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
