im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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