i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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