i barfeds in our rink
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
