he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
