so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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