nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
