just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
