my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
