if you like me you must not know who I am
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
