i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
