I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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