Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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