ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
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