u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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