Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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