She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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