STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
