Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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