I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
These tits shall not be calmed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
