you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
