I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
