Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
this will be a night to untag.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
