i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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