Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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