Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
